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But I've never been scared 'orangeless'

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POSTED: January 3, 2011 9:06 p.m.

I just read where the Department of Homeland Security is giving up on the color code as a way telling us how scared we should be of a terrorist attack on any given day.
I’ve never quite understood that alert system anyway. I’m not even sure I can remember being told that on a specific day we were green, blue, yellow, orange or red.
And what were we supposed to do? Were we supposed to cancel our fishing trip, go to the basement or run around in the front yard yelling, “We’re all gonna die! We’re all gonna to die!” Or maybe, “They’re everywhere! They’re everywhere!”
My first impression of this alert system was that we were attacking terrorism with color crayons.
And to whom did this alert system really apply? I just don’t think that a band of terrorists would single out Moultrie, Ga., as a target. Interrupting the flow of cabbage up the East Coast is not going to throw a very big monkey wrench into our nation’s stability.
Big airports apparently are the places that first come to mind for an attack. Or perhaps a big event such as a Super Bowl or heavy traffic times on a big city bridge – none of which apply to me. Again, a crop duster and a high school football game are unlikely targets, I would think.
I haven’t read yet if they are going to come up with any other kind of alert system. But if they do, I would suggest they give better instructions for what we are to do with this information.
I think the color scheme thing was mostly ignored. It was kind of like car alarms. They go off so much now that no one pays attention to them.
The other day I was walking through a parking lot and a car alarm went off. No one else was paying any attention.
So I looked around to make sure no one was breaking into the vehicle. I don’t know what I would have done if I had seen someone tampering with the car. Maybe I could have yelled “Yelllow!” or “Orange!”
Later I got to thinking about car alarms. And it came to me that instead of the conventional alarm, there should be something else being proclaimed that would really draw attention. Maybe a voice would yell from under the hood, “Hey, there’s a naked person over here!”
I think sometimes you have to color outside the lines to get the desired effect.
When I was in college, I lived in a pretty rough section of Atlanta. Let me further describe that neighborhood – someone broke into my apartment in broad daylight while my roommate and I were there.
One of our neighbors was very ingenious in terms of security. When he would go away for a day or two, he would put crime scene tape across the front of his apartment. He definitely thought outside of the box.
I’m really glad I don’t live in a big city where it seems I would be more likely to be a terrorist victim. Mostly I have to worry about someone stealing my outboard motor, my weed eater or my chainsaw. Oops! I forgot – someone did steal my chainsaw.
Along those lines, it was decided at our breakfast club the other day that a pair of hole diggers would always be safe. You could stand a pair out by the curb and the handles would rot off before anyone would steal them.
So I just heard Porky Pig singing “I’ll Have A Blue Christmas.” I’m betting he means his sweetie found another porker as opposed to someone named Habib having filled in his mud hole with sand.

Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer and can be reached at dwain.walden@gaflnews.com.

 

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